wayward prayer

Remember being a kid and grown-ups asking, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"
I always thought that was the dumbest-assed question
in the world.
What does a kid who's age is still in single digits know
(or care) about careers and job markets?

But when my age got to early double digits, I got it in my head that I wanted to be a Catholic Priest.
I mean, it made perfect sense. I was already an alter-boy, could recite the Mass in Latin and just loved the smell
of the incense.

That notion of becoming a Catholic Priest stayed with me for a few years until two things happened. . .
First, I discovered girls.
And second, I learned the definition of the word "celibate".
My hormonally charged, adolescent response was, "you've got to be f*#kin' kidding!!"
And so began my lifelong study of comparative religion. . .
(There just had to be a tradition where I could be a Holy Man and still get laid?)

painting of Augustine by Botticelli

Well yeah, there were plenty, of course, but none of them climbed the fléche and rang my bell.
Then by and by I discovered Buddhism; and I knew for sure I was no longer Catholic. (if I had ever really been a Catholic in the first place)
"God" was no longer some figment of my imagination living up in the clouds;
"God" was within. . .

As an adult, I've been blessed with two inspirational spiritual teachers; Paramahansa Yogananda and Joseph Campbell.
Enlightened by what I've learned from those two men, I took up Yoga and Meditation and the search for "Nirvanic Bliss" was on.

The trouble, as I discovered, is once you cross "the Rubicon" to Nirvanic bliss, you either couldn't or wouldn't want to come back. It's a one way trip!

I've come pretty damned close to the water's edge more than a few times in meditation but for one reason or another, (like a good Cuban cigar or a SuperBowl party or another pretty young woman coming along) I haven't climbed aboard the Mahayana to sail to the yonder shore.

All the same, one day during this incarnation, I know I'll put my earthly desires (Kama) down and make the
Nirvanic crossing.
But until I do, to keep my options open, I've adopted
St. Augustine's "Wayward Prayer". . .

"Lord make me pure. . .
. . .But not yet."

comtemplación del gato

Today might have been our brother John's 70th birthday.

Can you imagine. . .

mandala-mania

Sometimes the screamingly obvious gets right by me.
I'll be pondering along on a puzzle or problem in ignorant bliss, never suspecting there might be a hole in the soul of my thought processes.
But, by and by a light always comes on, I get a clue and the previously overlooked obvious is in my face,
up close and personal.
. . .Makes you want to say, "duh!"

So early last week I got interested in mandalas, beautifully elaborate pieces of artwork that have spiritual significance in the Hindu and Buddhist traditions.
In the Tibetan, Vajrayana flavor of Buddhism, they're developed by monks as fragile sandpaintings that, once completed, are left to weather the elements or are purposely destroyed. (The intention in mandala creation is same as with any creative effort. The real benefit to the creator is in the process rather than the product and in the doing, the aspirant creates a sacred space that helps focus the mind
in meditation.)

Anyway, there I was engrossed in a sort of "mandala-mania" for a couple of days.
I was creating and coloring and contemplating mandalas for hours at a time until, at some point, I had one of my
"moments of hmmm. . ."
". . .Doing these things seems so damned familiar. I'll bet I've done them before; probably in a previous incarnation. No wonder I've always wanted to travel to Tibet. . ."

Just then the phone rang. I turned in my chair, picked up the phone and looked at the wall to my left. . .
"duh!"

These are a few of what's left of a series of 30 acrylic abstracts I painted a few years ago. I'd spend hours or days at a time, usually outdoors, creating expressions of the vibrant colors and energy I felt (and still feel) are the essence of living life in the Keys.
The great vibe for me on this series was in the doing, my porch became something of a sacred space and I remember commenting to a yogi friend of mine at the time, that each painting was a two day meditation.

Sounds like "mandala-mania" all over again. . .

"The Dance", acrylic on canvas 11" x 14" - SOLD

"Four-Eyed Jack", acrylic on canvas 18" x 24" - PLEASE BUY ME

"Dancing in Havana", acrylic on canvas 24" x 36" - SOLD

"Diamond Jim", acrylic on canvas 26" x 26" - PLEASE BUY ME

"Walk in the Sun", acrylic on canvas 18" x 24" - SOLD

"Sea Creature", acrylic on canvas 30" x 40" - PLEASE BUY ME

"Metamorphosis", acrylic on canvas 50" x 50" - SOLD

"Ant Mary", acrylic on canvas 48" x 20" - PLEASE BUY ME

"Rooster, Rooster", acrylic on canvas 11" x 14" - SOLD

what our live's need & our heart's desire

It seems like we're all looking for something.

I'm not talking about misplaced car keys or a tax refund check in the mail, I'm thinking about metaphysical stuff like love or happiness, inner peace or some meaning in our lives, Buddha consciousness or contact with the Creator.
So we search the world around us, reading libraries of self-help books, enrolling in on-line wellness classes or spending an hour a week in therapy, or church, just trying to get a handle on how to look and where to find what we believe our live's need and our heart's desire.

While books and classes and couches and pews can be helpful in terms of inspiring minds to pursue a particular path, at the end of the day, the one and only place in the outside world to look for love, happiness, inner peace, meaning, consciousness or contact; is in the mirror.

They are all within you and there's nothing to find, but everything to recognize.

Imagine this tree stump is your most true self. Free of ego, desire, prejudice and judgement. That's your center or soul and the place, within you, where all the love, happiness, inner peace, meaning, higher consciousness and spiritual contact are alive and well.

This is you in your deepest identity. However it appears to you, accept and embrace it. It's the perfect reflection of all you've ever been and done in this and all your lifetimes.
There is no right or wrong, good or bad about it.
It's beyond all that.

Hold your center, draw it closer to consciousness and realize that the love or happiness, inner peace or meaning in your life, Buddha consciousness or contact with the Creator you wanted, was right there the whole time.
You needed only to recognize it.

the mirror meditation movement!

Most of us, especially here in the Keys, shuffle through our day-to-days at an easy pace; Loving our friends and families and enjoying the nature and nonsense that define our lives in the world around us. Then, something happens. . .

Either lightening strikes or we weren't paying attention and we have a real time, in our face problem. A problem that's up so close in our face that, at first, we can't make any sense of it. Maybe we indulge ourselves in a few minute of worry and whining over it but after that, we all know the drill. . .
Take a step back, look at the problem from another angle, see it more clearly and figure out a solution to get over, under, around or through it.

Wouldn't you think the Washington whiz-kids in the House and Senate would know all that? Sure, they were all asleep at the switch when the "economic crisis" they helped create hit the fan - We can forgive that, everyone screws up. But their screw-up happened back in September and the thing WE THE PEOPLE should not forgive, is the five months of hand wringing, whining and partisan bickering they've been doing while the rest of us are left swinging in the wind because of their failure to act.

Clearly, they don't yet know what to do and, left to their own initiatives, will bumble their way into a solution to serve their own interests. They don't know (or very likely care) what your interests are, YOU DO. They don't know what my interests are, I DO. There are no layoffs in the Senate, no cut-backs in the Congress; so how can they come up with a solution that really works for us? They can't, but WE CAN. The solution begins with the face in your mirror.

I invite you all to join the Mirror Meditation Movement!
Every morning, after you've finished brushing your teeth, spent an extra 5 minute or so in front of your mirror. Look into your own eyes and think about what it's going to take to get through the day ahead. Consider the problems and how you might solve them, weigh your choices and define your concerns. Then, pick up the phone. The American Republic is a representational government. The Washington whiz-kids work for us and it's the responsibility of WE THE PEOPLE to give them direction and tell them what works best for us.

I've been doing it for a week now, a phone call every day. (not a letter or an e-mail, I want them to hear the organic, no nonsense tone of my words) Always politely, I voice my concerns and offer suggestions for what they can do to help me, personally. I figure by the end of the month I'll be on a first name basis with Ileana Ros-Lehtinen. But that's how it should be.

Get behind the Mirror Meditation Movement!
There are more of us than there are of them and if we get their phones "ringing for representation", all day everyday, they'll have a better understanding of who we are, what we're about and how they can best serve us.

The following two links are directories of the House and Senate where you can, very easily, find the reach information for your representatives. . .
SENATE DIRECTORY
DIRECTORY FOR THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

meditation

In deep dreamless sleep, consciousness is still there but is covered over by the darkness.
In that sleep we don't know what day it is or if we are men or women; we are only aware of consciousness. Imagine if we could go into deep sleep while we were awake. To enter a sphere of consciousness but consciousness of no particular thing, only a calm awareness of being.

In meditation we can step back from our lives that are seemingly "out there" and bring our focus within. With an internal focus, we can realize that all life goes on within us and everything "out there" is just an interpretation of what we think we perceive.

Sitting in silence, our minds turn inward. Aware of only our breathing, thoughts become whispers and our worldly worries give way to calm. In that calm, our egos are quieted and our fears are put to rest. We find within ourselves the harmonic peace of conscious energy that connects all things.

It's not always so easy and sometimes, no matter how hard we try, a flood of thoughts and "Monkey-Mind" come splashing down on our peace. Our focus lost and our calm is upset.

But with patience and practice we can learn to gently shift our focus away from the outward intruders and back to that one point within. With patience and practice our focus sharpens and our mind's eye begins to see clearly, the reality within.

Our clarity establishes or renews our faith that our existence is so much more than the handful of years we spend eating and breathing in this lifetime. That we are all connected in a universal consciousness and, being connected in that awareness, we are the One.

concentration

Under the deulge of all the thoughts and splashing tangents that rain down on our minds every second of every day of every year of our lives, it's not surprising that our attention is distracted from one thing to the next and the next in rapid-fire succession. It's that knee-jerk mental reaction to all those thoughts that a Zen-Master would call "Monkey-Mind".

Then sometimes something happens. Life throws us a curve-ball and our reaction to that unexpected situation (and the thoughts that come with it) is to focus. We really get in there to examine what's going on, with blinders on to everything else. Often we get in so close that the frenzy is, at first, a confusing blur.

So we step back a bit, change our perspective and hope for a more focused view from a different angle. Still very single minded, from our fresh perspective we may begin to understand the how and why mechanics of the situation that has suddenly demanded our undivided attention.

In our burgeoning understanding we can start to relax, take another step back and calmly begin to consider the "big picture". We can then, more clearly, weigh our attitudes against our previous thoughts and experiences and hopefully make an informed decision on how best to react.

introspection

Whether we realize it or not, most of us live through our day to day lives on auto-pilot. It's not a bad or good thing and, at the speed of life, it's easier keep up with whatever needs doing day to day guided by our habits and patterns than to re-think each of the thoughts that come cascading down on our minds every day.

Still, a few times a year (I do it at the turn of the seasons) it helps to make the time to step back, take a non-judgemental look at the big picture and gain some perspective on where we are in our lives and how we got there.

sukhavati

I know I know, I'm cheating again. This is not a photograph but a digital illustration I drew earlier this year (in PhotoShop without using filters). It represents a spiritual state of mind that, hopefully, I am getting closer to.

Sukhavati is a story about Amitabha, the Buddha of immeasurable radiance, whose primary quality is compassion.

When he was on the threshold of illumination, Amitabha vowed that he would not accept illumination for himself unless, through his illumination, he could release all beings from the endless cycle of re-incarnation.

The Gods agreed and, when he did achieve his illumination, there appeared before him a great lotus pond where the jewel of illumination resided in the lotuses. Anyone devoted to Amitabha in their lifetime would no longer be committed to another re-incarnation but would instead be reborn in a closed lotus floating on Amitabha’s lotus pond called Sukavhati, the place of bliss.

Meditating in their lotuses the devotees would hear, on the rippling waters and in the air, only the mantra, "all is impermanent, all is without a self" until finally, they would realize that enlightened truth.

When they did, their lotuses would open and they would be sitting, themselves, as an enlightened Buddhas in meditation; only then to dissolve like a dew drop into the ocean of rapture and transcendence.

Framed & matted, Sukhavati, the finished work, measures 16" x 20". Museum quality prints are available.